This year, as I celebrate my heart anniversary, or the anniversary of the day I had open heart surgery back on October 1, 2012, I am humbled.
When I was in the hospital, just nights before my surgery, I was alone in my room. Everyone had left to grab a bite to eat for dinner while I slept and rested. The surgeon who would be performing my surgery came in to discuss possible heart valve replacement options with me. The words that came out of his mouth were some of the most devastating I’d heard. Maybe, if you’re a surgeon, you’re taught to steer a little on the pessimistic side of things.
I was alone. No family to bounce this new information off on, no one else was there to soak in the news I was receiving.
“It’s very likely you won’t be able to have children.”
Tears flooded my vision, and the idea of me not being able to have children, even though I wasn’t ready at the time to even think of starting a family, clouded my thoughts. I have no memory of the rest of our conversation, only that he left me with his assistant because I was in hysterics.
Three years later, I’m carrying our baby boy in my HEALTHY body! Sure, I haven’t been through labor and delivery yet, but my entire experience of being pregnant has been nothing but positive, even with the minor discomforts I’ve experienced.
My heart can handle pregnancy. My heart valves are strong! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared when I found out I was pregnant. It’s normal to be scared, I know that. But my fears were fears of whether or not I’d be safe…would my heart be able to take on the most important job of my life?
And it has, with flying colors! I’ve had only two cardiology check-ups while being pregnant and one echo. My heart looks beautiful, healthy, and NORMAL.
I’m writing this post a couple days before I’ll be posting it on October 1st. Today is the actual anniversary of the evening I was told it was very unlikely I would be able to have children. To carry a baby inside. That my heart might not be strong enough to handle the pressure.
At 31 weeks pregnant, with our little Jack, I’ve never felt stronger and more confident in trusting what my heart is capable of.
God never gives us more than we can handle.
And I’m thankful I’ve had three more years to experience the life He has for me.
For more information about my experience, please check out my Open Heart Surgery Page.